why am i so frikin nervous?!
maybe because I've been nervous for my friends before this too. Law friends getting their results super early, i was nervous for them. Siew from oxford getting hers a few days before mine, I was nervous for her.
now that has all probably compounded into this nervousness I'm feeling now.
maybe it's the aftermath of watching such a sad movie yesterday. if you need a good cry, one that makes your eyes hurt even the next day, watch Never Let Me Go. shit, sad sad movie. andrew garfield, why you make me cry?!
maybe it's because it's different this time round. uni is different, obviously. the skills I used to rough through the exams were mostly build by myself. no denying that those skills were imbued by my teachers and parents from previous academic years, but in uni, you're pretty much left to your own devices. your studies, your schedule, your discipline or lack of it, is pretty much in your own control.
I might have just hit the nail on the head. this time, if I screw up, it feels like a direct hit to myself, because now more than ever, the outcome of my exams are a result of my own work, my own decisions. I'm afraid to find out that I've been screwing up.
but everyone screws up, steph. breathe...
phew, growing up is exciting. ha. haha.
45 minutes. I'll go get some work done