I found a place to be my silent stars in London! It's actually quite an open space but in a bustling city, people just don't quite care what you're doing so that creates the paradox of its hustle and bustle actually affording you some mental space.
The stars are probably not all real. some or most are probably satellites, considering the light pollution so common to big cities. some may actually be the aeroplanes from the airports around the area. but the lights are quiet at least. and they silently accompany me in arranging my thoughts amidst the clutter that accumulates in this heavy thing my neck carries around.
so... yeay!
Tuesday, 12 November 2013
f* this shit
I dont think I'm made to write essays. it takes ages for me to think of how to put my thoughts down into words.
"I am about it, but indeed my invention
Comes from my pate as birdlime does from frieze,
It plucks out brains and all. "
Iago, Othello
But unlike him, my Muse does not labor. gahh
why I shy from philosophy
I'm scared. philosophy scares me. the capacity of our minds to come up with such theories of what morality is, what the reason to live is and then create all sorts of structures of society to enable such an idea to make sense. the controls or lack of it on society should these ideas be proven true. it's crazy. unrealistic, more often than not. why have it then?
they say that philosophers take the daring journey out of our comfort zones within the fur of the bunny and dangle dangerously on the edge of the bunny's hairs, staring right into the eyes of the creator. they say that philosophers climb out of the cave of shadows and enjoy the perfection in the real forms they see.
i don't agree. I think for every edge of hair that a philosopher climbs on to, they stare into the eyes of a different creator. i think that in climbing out of the cave, they inevitably end up in different worlds.
so what's the point?
every philosopher may differ greatly but they all share the same passion for truth. I find peace in the knowledge that I have access to the Truth. someone once said that religion is philosophical suicide. was it Camus? Marx? I don't want my belief to be a simple escape on what should be the most important question in my life. but the reluctance to embark on the journey is there. why did some of the saints explore philosophy when their answer was already given to them by their faith? how in the world did they survive that journey?
I'm on my first philosophy book and I'm already afraid. Afraid of what this will bring.
and this is not even a pure philosophy course
they say that philosophers take the daring journey out of our comfort zones within the fur of the bunny and dangle dangerously on the edge of the bunny's hairs, staring right into the eyes of the creator. they say that philosophers climb out of the cave of shadows and enjoy the perfection in the real forms they see.
i don't agree. I think for every edge of hair that a philosopher climbs on to, they stare into the eyes of a different creator. i think that in climbing out of the cave, they inevitably end up in different worlds.
so what's the point?
every philosopher may differ greatly but they all share the same passion for truth. I find peace in the knowledge that I have access to the Truth. someone once said that religion is philosophical suicide. was it Camus? Marx? I don't want my belief to be a simple escape on what should be the most important question in my life. but the reluctance to embark on the journey is there. why did some of the saints explore philosophy when their answer was already given to them by their faith? how in the world did they survive that journey?
I'm on my first philosophy book and I'm already afraid. Afraid of what this will bring.
and this is not even a pure philosophy course
Wednesday, 18 September 2013
this new lenovo...
there's something the ergonomics of my lenovo, its keyboard's kinda further from my usual reach, that its edge is cutting through my wrists. gahhh
it hasnt even been a month and i already have complaints. oh noooo, am i becoming like everyone else, people who are never satisfied with their gadgets, carrying around their samsung S4s, xperias, and whatevers yet still complaining about the speeds, capacity etc. holding that huge touchscreen smartphone - something that still marvels me and surely marvels millions more who can't begin to believe how this glass thing responds to touch - yet yakking on and on about it being slow. i can't help but to hear boastfulness in that complaint
i know where i come from and i feel ashamed of myself once i start acting like this. us humans can never get enough can we? when i bought that lenovo, when i got myself a new smartphone too, yeah I was happy, I was finally on track with technology's latest, sort of. but i felt that i was also on track with potential constant dissatisfaction, the need for something faster, stronger, clearer with pixels so great that you can't make out the difference between real life and the screen (has anyone watched that video where the people got tricked into thinking that armageddon came? here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynvKWYvyCqw ).
why are we like that? you're not? but you've got to have something in your life that you want to better right? be it your skills, your looks, your house etc. we're never satisfied. it sucks. it's taking us on a path to destruction, if you link it to... sorry, that's going a bit too far, but true no?
the good book says that only one thing can satisfy, only one fountain gives water so that you'll thirst no more. ooohh, steph's getting religious here. but heck, you don't know how far I am from being good and that's the beauty of it. no one has to be good to come to that fountain, it fact, it is expected that no one is good and that is why they need that fountain of grace.
i've just been skirting around the fountain tho, it's a bit scary to jump right in to it, to be immersed in it. it's tough for one, kinda calls for me to act against many habits I've picked up from the world. also, it's probably the deepest sea one can delve in to, one that is absolutely satisfies, for eternity. and the magnitude of the implication of that, scares me. to dive or not to dive in to it?
it hasnt even been a month and i already have complaints. oh noooo, am i becoming like everyone else, people who are never satisfied with their gadgets, carrying around their samsung S4s, xperias, and whatevers yet still complaining about the speeds, capacity etc. holding that huge touchscreen smartphone - something that still marvels me and surely marvels millions more who can't begin to believe how this glass thing responds to touch - yet yakking on and on about it being slow. i can't help but to hear boastfulness in that complaint
i know where i come from and i feel ashamed of myself once i start acting like this. us humans can never get enough can we? when i bought that lenovo, when i got myself a new smartphone too, yeah I was happy, I was finally on track with technology's latest, sort of. but i felt that i was also on track with potential constant dissatisfaction, the need for something faster, stronger, clearer with pixels so great that you can't make out the difference between real life and the screen (has anyone watched that video where the people got tricked into thinking that armageddon came? here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynvKWYvyCqw ).
why are we like that? you're not? but you've got to have something in your life that you want to better right? be it your skills, your looks, your house etc. we're never satisfied. it sucks. it's taking us on a path to destruction, if you link it to... sorry, that's going a bit too far, but true no?
the good book says that only one thing can satisfy, only one fountain gives water so that you'll thirst no more. ooohh, steph's getting religious here. but heck, you don't know how far I am from being good and that's the beauty of it. no one has to be good to come to that fountain, it fact, it is expected that no one is good and that is why they need that fountain of grace.
i've just been skirting around the fountain tho, it's a bit scary to jump right in to it, to be immersed in it. it's tough for one, kinda calls for me to act against many habits I've picked up from the world. also, it's probably the deepest sea one can delve in to, one that is absolutely satisfies, for eternity. and the magnitude of the implication of that, scares me. to dive or not to dive in to it?
Thursday, 29 August 2013
poison
all windows and doors closed from you
little of your light shines through
only the cracks.
poison seeps in
into every conversation
every look
every thought
I need that light
but i'm afraid
'cos your sea is the deepest
stretches the farthest
more than I can imagine.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)