Waiting for life to happen...

I'm in an office room in a high-rise, watching the traffic, listening to the faint music my friend's playing at the other end of the table. I'm waiting for my one-on-one mentoring sessions with  A familiar feeling begins rising, restlessness.

Waiting makes me so restless. I have bursts of wild restlessness at times, and I'm still trying to get it. Sometimes, it hits me while I'm just about to sleep; on the bed and suddenly the urge to run the block hits me.

I'm frikin' 20 and I feel like I haven't made much of a change. That must be where all this energy is coming from, I'm desperate to channel it to something that moves me. But the irony is that with the restlessness, comes the urge to jut do something, anything and in the flurry of what happens next, whatever it is I do to try shake off my restlessness, I lose sight of what my inner self was trying to alert me of - 'what do you want to do with your life? this time, this energy, this enthusiasm that as yet, is not tied down to anything?'

i owe the world something, myself. but what is 'myself'?